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ESL 127: The Wedding (1)

ESL 127: The Wedding (1)



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It was a strange day—Thursday—for a wedding. Who ever heard of a Thursday wedding? "Well," Harlan explained to everyone, "the Thursday event is going to cost me half of what Friday, Saturday, or Sunday would cost me. And a 50-percent discount is a lot of money, believe me." Everyone believed him. Harlan knew how to count his pennies. The early evening event was at Cowfish, a popular restaurant and meeting place on campus.

Nevin and Janelle arrived at 5 p.m. for pictures, but the photographer had been delayed on the freeway because someone had jumped off an overpass. So they decided to take a stroll on campus. Walking westward, they soon found a fish pond. About a dozen small turtles were swimming in the eastern end of the pond. As Janelle kneeled at water's edge, all the turtles swam toward her. A couple of them climbed out of the water and onto the footpath. They wanted food, but a sign advised visitors not to feed the fish or turtles. So she apologized to the turtles—not that she had any turtle food anyway, she added. Nevin and Janelle took pictures of themselves and the turtles.

They walked back to Cowfish just before the ceremony was to begin. Some of the preacher's words were unclear because of static on the portable microphone. After the preacher pronounced Harlan and Ellen husband and wife, guests clapped and cheered. The photographer, who had gotten "some great pictures" of the fallen body, busily took pictures of the bride and groom, the preacher, the parents, and the guests.

After their meal, Nevin and Janelle said good night to the newly married couple. This was the fourth marriage for Harlan, so everyone was hoping it would be his last. Then Nevin and Janelle walked out to their car, holding hands and talking about what would be the same and what would be different at their own wedding. That is, if they didn't decide to just drive to Las Vegas for a quick marriage, with Elvis performing at their ceremony. "That way, our only difficult decision will be to pick which song he will sing for us," Janelle said.

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*Vocabulary:

• bride:
• ceremony:
• cheer:
• clap:
• discount:
• edge:
• groom:
• kneel:
• microphone:
• overpass:
• perform:
• photographer:
• pond:
• portable:
• preacher:
• pronounce:
• static:
• stroll:
• turtle:
• wedding:

--------------------

*Yes/No Questions:

• Is Thursday a strange day for a wedding?

• Did Harlan get a 50-percent discount?

• Is a 50-percent discount a lot of money?

• Did Harlan know how to count his pennies?

• Was the event early in the morning?

• Was the event at the Fishcow?

• Is it a popular restaurant off campus?

• Did Nevin and Janelle arrive at 5 p.m. for appetizers?

• Was the photographer delayed?

• Did they decide to buy a roll on campus?

---------------------

*Fill in blanks:

It was a strange day—Thursday—for a wedding. Who _____ heard of a Thursday wedding? “Well,” Harlan explained _____ everyone, “the Thursday event is going to cost _____ half of what Friday, Saturday, or Sunday would_____ me. And a 50-percent discount is a lot _____ money, believe me.” Everyone believed him. Harlan knew _____ to count his pennies. The early evening event _____ at Cowfish, a popular restaurant and meeting place _____ campus.

Nevin and Janelle arrived at 5 p.m. _____ pictures, but the photographer had been delayed on _____ freeway because someone had jumped off an overpass. _____ they decided to take a stroll on campus. _____ westward, they soon found a fish pond. About _____ dozen small turtles were swimming in the eastern _____ of the pond. As Janelle kneeled at water’s _____ , all the turtles swam toward her. A couple_____ them climbed out of the water and onto _____ footpath. They wanted food, but a sign advised _____ not to feed the fish or turtles. So _____ apologized to the turtles—not that she had any _____ food anyway, she added. Nevin and Janelle took _____ of themselves and the turtles.

They walked back _____ Cowfish just before the ceremony was to begin. _____ of the preacher’s words were unclear because of _____ on the portable microphone. After the preacher pronounced _____ and Ellen husband and wife, guests clapped and _____ . The photographer, who had gotten “some great pictures” _____ the fallen body, busily took pictures of the _____ and groom, the preacher, the parents, and the _____ .

After their meal, Nevin and Janelle said good _____ to the newly married couple. This was the _____ marriage for Harlan, so everyone was hoping it _____ be his last. Then Nevin and Janelle walked _____ to their car, holding hands and talking about _____ would be the same and what would be _____ at their own wedding. That is, if they_____ ’t decide to just drive to Las Vegas for _____ quick marriage, with Elvis performing at their ceremony. “_____ way, our only difficult decision will be to _____ which song he will sing for us,” Janelle _____ .

-----------------

*Translate into Vietnamese:

.........

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Nộp bài ESL 127: The Wedding (1)
*Vocabulary:

• bride: Cô dâu
• ceremony: Nghi lễ
• cheer: Vui lên
• clap: Vỗ
• discount: Chiết khấu
• edge: Mép
• groom: Chú rể
• kneel: Quỳ gối
• microphone: Ống nói
• overpass: Đi ngang qua
• perform: Thực hiện
• photographer: Thợ chụp hình
• pond: Ao
• portable: Di động
• preacher: Người thuyết giáo
• pronounce: Phát âm
• static: Sự tĩnh điện
• stroll: Đi dạo
• turtle: Con rùa
• wedding: Đám cưới

--------------------

*Yes/No Questions:

• Is Thursday a strange day for a wedding? Yes

• Did Harlan get a 50-percent discount? Yes

• Is a 50-percent discount a lot of money? Yes

• Did Harlan know how to count his pennies? Yes

• Was the event early in the morning? No

• Was the event at the Fishcow? No

• Is it a popular restaurant off campus? No

• Did Nevin and Janelle arrive at 5 p.m. for appetizers? No

• Was the photographer delayed? Yes

• Did they decide to buy a roll on campus? No

---------------------

*Fill in blanks:

It was a strange day—Thursday—for a wedding. Who _ever_ heard of a Thursday wedding? “Well,” Harlan explained _to_ everyone, “the Thursday event is going to cost _me_ half of what Friday, Saturday, or Sunday would_cost_ me. And a 50-percent discount is a lot _of_ money, believe me.” Everyone believed him. Harlan knew _how_ to count his pennies. The early evening event _was_ at Cowfish, a popular restaurant and meeting place _on_ campus.

Nevin and Janelle arrived at 5 p.m. _for_ pictures, but the photographer had been delayed on _the_ freeway because someone had jumped off an overpass. _So_ they decided to take a stroll on campus. _Walking_ westward, they soon found a fish pond. About _a_ dozen small turtles were swimming in the eastern _end_ of the pond. As Janelle kneeled at water’s _edge_ , all the turtles swam toward her. A couple_of_ them climbed out of the water and onto _the_ footpath. They wanted food, but a sign advised _visitors_ not to feed the fish or turtles. So _she_ apologized to the turtles—not that she had any _turtle_ food anyway, she added. Nevin and Janelle took _pictures_ of themselves and the turtles.

They walked back _to_ Cowfish just before the ceremony was to begin. _Some_ of the preacher’s words were unclear because of _static_ on the portable microphone. After the preacher pronounced _Harlan_ and Ellen husband and wife, guests clapped and _cheered_ . The photographer, who had gotten “some great pictures” _of_ the fallen body, busily took pictures of the _bride_ and groom, the preacher, the parents, and the _guests_ .

After their meal, Nevin and Janelle said good _night_ to the newly married couple. This was the _fourth_ marriage for Harlan, so everyone was hoping it _would_ be his last. Then Nevin and Janelle walked _out_ to their car, holding hands and talking about _what_ would be the same and what would be _different_ at their own wedding. That is, if they_didn_ ’t decide to just drive to Las Vegas for _a_ quick marriage, with Elvis performing at their ceremony. “_That_ way, our only difficult decision will be to _pick_ which song he will sing for us,” Janelle _said_ .

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Done

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ESL 127: The Wedding (1)
*Vocabulary:


• bride: Cô dâu
• ceremony: Nghi lễ
• cheer: Vui lên
• clap: Vỗ
• discount: Chiết khấu
• edge: Mép
• groom: Chú rể
• kneel: Quỳ gối
• microphone: Ống nói
• overpass: Đi ngang qua
• perform: Thực hiện
• photographer: Thợ chụp hình
• pond: Ao
• portable: Di động
• preacher: Người thuyết giáo
• pronounce: Phát âm
• static: Sự tĩnh điện
• stroll: Đi dạo
• turtle: Con rùa
• wedding: Đám cưới

--------------------

*Yes/No Questions:

• Is Thursday a strange day for a wedding? Yes

• Did Harlan get a 50-percent discount? Yes

• Is a 50-percent discount a lot of money? Yes

• Did Harlan know how to count his pennies? Yes

• Was the event early in the morning? No

• Was the event at the Fishcow? No

• Is it a popular restaurant off campus? No

• Did Nevin and Janelle arrive at 5 p.m. for appetizers? No

• Was the photographer delayed? Yes

• Did they decide to buy a roll on campus? No

---------------------

*Fill in blanks:

It was a strange day—Thursday—for a wedding. Who _ever_ heard of a Thursday wedding? “Well,” Harlan explained _to_ everyone, “the Thursday event is going to cost _me_ half of what Friday, Saturday, or Sunday would_cost_ me. And a 50-percent discount is a lot _of_ money, believe me.” Everyone believed him. Harlan knew _how_ to count his pennies. The early evening event _was_ at Cowfish, a popular restaurant and meeting place _on_ campus.

Nevin and Janelle arrived at 5 p.m. _for_ pictures, but the photographer had been delayed on _the_ freeway because someone had jumped off an overpass. _So_ they decided to take a stroll on campus. _Walking_ westward, they soon found a fish pond. About _a_ dozen small turtles were swimming in the eastern _end_ of the pond. As Janelle kneeled at water’s _edge_ , all the turtles swam toward her. A couple_of_ them climbed out of the water and onto _the_ footpath. They wanted food, but a sign advised _visitors_ not to feed the fish or turtles. So _she_ apologized to the turtles—not that she had any _turtle_ food anyway, she added. Nevin and Janelle took _pictures_ of themselves and the turtles.

They walked back _to_ Cowfish just before the ceremony was to begin. _Some_ of the preacher’s words were unclear because of _static_ on the portable microphone. After the preacher pronounced _Harlan_ and Ellen husband and wife, guests clapped and _cheered_ . The photographer, who had gotten “some great pictures” _of_ the fallen body, busily took pictures of the _bride_ and groom, the preacher, the parents, and the _guests_ .

After their meal, Nevin and Janelle said good _night_ to the newly married couple. This was the _fourth_ marriage for Harlan, so everyone was hoping it _would_ be his last. Then Nevin and Janelle walked _out_ to their car, holding hands and talking about _what_ would be the same and what would be _different_ at their own wedding. That is, if they_didn_ ’t decide to just drive to Las Vegas for _a_ quick marriage, with Elvis performing at their ceremony. “_That_ way, our only difficult decision will be to _pick_ which song he will sing for us,” Janelle _said_ .

=========================================================
Translate into Vietnamese:

Đám cưới

Đó là một ngày lạ - Thứ năm - để làm đám cưới. Có ai từng nghe đám cưới vào Thứ năm? "Thế này," Harlan giải thích cho mọi người, "sự kiện vào thứ năm sẽ tiêu tốn cho tôi phân nửa giá so với vào thứ Sáu, thứ Bảy, hay Chủ nhật. Và 50-phần trăm giảm giá là rất nhiều tiền, tin tôi đi." Ai cũng tin anh ấy. Harlan rất biết cách tiêu tiền, đếm từng xu của mình. Buổi tối bắt đầu sớm ở Cowfish, một nhà hàng nổi tiếng và nơi gặp trên khuôn viên trường.

Nevin và Janelle đến lúc 5 p.m. để chụp hình, nhưng người chụp hình bị trễ ở đường cao tốc vì có người nhảy khỏi khu xe vượt. Nên họ quyết định đi dạo trong trường. Đi bộ về hướng tây, họ thấy có một hồ cá. Khi Janelle quì ở mép nước, những chú tùa bơi về phía cô. Hai người leo khỏi nước và vào đường đi bộ. Họ muốn thức ăn, nhưng bảng chỉ dẫn nói những khách tham quan không được cho cá hay rùa ăn. Nên cô xin lỗi những con rùa-không phải cô không có thức ăn cho rùa, cô thêm vào. Nevin và Janelle tự chụp hình của họ với những chú rùa.

Họ đi về Cowfish chỉ vừa trước khi buổi lễ bắt đầu. Vài lời của người thuyết giáo không rõ vì tĩnh điện của micro. Sau khi nhà thuyết giáo tuyên bố Harlan và Ellen là vợ chồng, khách mời vỗ tay và chúc mừng. Nhà chụp ảnh, đã chụp "vài bức ảnh đẹp" ngã người, bận rộn chụp hình cô dâu chú rễ , nhà thuyết giáo, cha mẹ và khách mời.

Sau bữa ăn, Nevin và Janelle chúc cặp mới cưới ngủ ngon. Đây là lần đám cưới thứ tư của Harlan, nên ai cũng hy vọng đây là lần cuối cùng. Rồi Nevin và Janelle đi ra xe, nắm tay nhau và nói về những điều giống và khác nhau với đám cưới của họ. Đó là, nếu họ không quyết định chỉ lái xe đến Las Vegas để đám cưới nhanh, với Elvis dẫn chương trình ở buổi lễ của họ. "Cách đó, quyết định khó khăn nhất của chúng ta là chọn bài hát nào anh ấy sẽ hát cho chúng ta," Janelle nói.

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LESSON 127:

THE WEDDING (1) - ĐÁM CƯỚI (1)

===========================================================

*Vocabulary:

------------------------------------------------------------------

• bride: cô dâu.
• ceremony: nghi lễ.
• cheer: hoan hô.
• clap: vỗ tay.
• discount: chiết khấu, hạ giá, bới giá.
• edge: cạnh, gờ, đường mép, đường rìa.
• groom: chú rể.
• kneel: quỳ, quỳ xuống.
• microphone: mi-crô.
• overpass: cầu vượt
• perform: cử hành(nghi lễ)
• photographer: người chụp ảnh, nhiếp ảnh gia.
• pond: ao.
• portable: xách tay, có thể mang đi được.
• preacher: nhà truyền giáo, người thuyết giáo/thuyết pháp.
• pronounce: tuyên bố, thông báo.
• static: tĩnh, tĩnh tại, không chuyển động/thay đổi.
• stroll: đi dạo, tản bộ.
• turtle: con rùa.
• wedding: đám cưới.

===========================================================

*Yes/No Questions:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
• Is Thursday a strange day for a wedding?
- Yes, it is.

• Did Harlan get a 50-percent discount?
- Yes, he did.

• Is a 50-percent discount a lot of money?
- Yes, it is.

• Did Harlan know how to count his pennies?
- Yes, he did.

• Was the event early in the morning?
- No, it wasn't. The event was early in the evening.

• Was the event at the Fishcow?
- No, it wasn't. The event was at the Cowfish.

• Is it a popular restaurant off campus?
- No, it isn't. It's a popular restaurant on campus.

• Did Nevin and Janelle arrive at 5 p.m. for appetizers?
- No, they didn't. Nevin and Janelle arrived at 5 p.m. for pitures.

• Was the photographer delayed?
- Yes, he was.

• Did they decide to buy a roll on campus?
- No, they didn't. They decided to take a stroll on campus.

===========================================================

*Fill in blanks:
------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a strange day—Thursday—for a wedding. Who ever heard of a Thursday wedding? “Well,” Harlan explained to everyone, “the Thursday event is going to cost me half of what Friday, Saturday, or Sunday would cost me. And a 50-percent discount is a lot of money, believe me.” Everyone believed him. Harlan knew how to count his pennies. The early evening event was at Cowfish, a popular restaurant and meeting place on campus.

Nevin and Janelle arrived at 5 p.m. for pictures, but the photographer had been delayed on the freeway because someone had jumped off an overpass. So they decided to take a stroll on campus. Walking westward, they soon found a fish pond. About a dozen small turtles were swimming in the eastern end of the pond. As Janelle kneeled at water’s edge , all the turtles swam toward her. A couple of them climbed out of the water and onto the footpath. They wanted food, but a sign advised visitors not to feed the fish or turtles. So she apologized to the turtles—not that she had any turtle food anyway, she added. Nevin and Janelle took pictures of themselves and the turtles.

They walked back to Cowfish just before the ceremony was to begin. Some of the preacher’s words were unclear because of static on the portable microphone. After the preacher pronounced Harlan and Ellen husband and wife, guests clapped and cheered . The photographer, who had gotten “some great pictures” of the fallen body, busily took pictures of the bride and groom, the preacher, the parents, and the guests .

After their meal, Nevin and Janelle said good night to the newly married couple. This was the fourth marriage for Harlan, so everyone was hoping it would be his last. Then Nevin and Janelle walked out to their car, holding hands and talking about what would be the same and what would be different at their own wedding. That is, if they didn ’t decide to just drive to Las Vegas for a quick marriage, with Elvis performing at their ceremony. “That way, our only difficult decision will be to pick which song he will sing for us,” Janelle said .

===========================================================

*Translate into Vietnamese:
------------------------------------------------------------------

Đó là một ngày khác thường-ngày Thứ Năm-cho một lễ cưới. Có ai đã từng nghe đám cưới vào ngày Thứ Năm chưa nhỉ? "Như thế này," Harlan giải thích với mọi người, "buổi lễ Thứ Năm sẽ tiêu tốn của tôi một nữa những gì Thứ Sáu, Thứ Bảy hoặc Chủ Nhật sẽ làm tôi phải tốn. Và 50% chiết khấu là một khoản tiền lớn, các bạn phải tin tôi chứ. Tất cả mọi người đều tin anh cả. Harlan biết cách tính toán tiền bạc lắm. Buổi lễ diễn ra vào buổi chiều tối tại Cowfish, một nhà hàng và nơi hội họp nổi tiếng trong khuôn viên trường đại học.

Nevin và Janelle tới vào lúc 5 giờ chiều để chụp hình, nhưng bác thợ chụp hình bị chậm lại trên xa lộ vì có người nhảy qua cầu vượt. Vì vậy họ quyết định đi tản bộ trong khuôn viên trường. Đi dạo về hướng tây, họ nhanh chóng tìm thấy một hồ cá. Khoảng chừng mười hai con rùa nhỏ đang bơi ở đoạn cuối phía đông của hồ. Khi Janelle quỳ xuống mép nước, tất cả bầy rùa bơi về phía cô. Hai con trong bầy bò ra khỏi nước và bò lên trên lối đi. Chúng muốn được cho ăn, nhưng một bảng hiệu yêu cầu du khách không cho cá và rùa ăn. Vì vậy cô xin lỗi những con rùa-không phải cô không có loại thức ăn nào cho rùa, cô nói thêm. Nevin và Janelle chụp hình hai người cùng với những con rùa.

Họ quay trở lại Cowfish ngay trước khi hôn lễ bắt đầu. Một vài lời phát biểu của mục sư nghe không được rõ vì mi-crô cầm tay không có điện. Sau khi vị mục sư tuyên bố Harlan và Ellen là vợ chồng, quan khách vỗ tay và chúc mừng. Nhiếp ảnh gia, người đã ngã người chụp những tấm hình ấn tượng, bận rộn chụp hình cho cô dâu, chú rể, mục sư, cha mẹ hai bên, và quan khách.

Sau bữa tiệc, Nevin và Janelle chúc đôi vợ chồng mới cưới ngon giấc. Đây là đám cưới thứ tư của Harlan, cho nên ai cũng mong đây là lần cuối cùng của anh. Sau đó, Nevin và Janelle đi ra xe, tay trong tay, nói về những điều sẽ giống y như thế và khác hẳn như vậy tại đám cưới của riêng họ. Đó là, nếu họ không quyết định đến ngay Las Vegas cho một đám cưới tốc hành, có Elvis biểu diễn tại hôn lễ của họ. "Theo cách đó, quyết định khó khăn duy nhất của chúng mình sẽ là chọn bài hát nào để anh ấy hát." Janelle nói.

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. 1.New To America
. 2.A Haircut
. 3.The Yardman
. 4.Grab Your Umbrellas
. 5.Shopping for Bargains
. 6.Horses to Ride
. 7.A Shower Injury
. 8.Pete's Sharp Knife
. 9.A Good Sandwich
. 10.Sara's Upset Stomach
. 11.Please Marry Me!
. 12.Laundry Day
. 13.A Noisy Neighbor
. 14.The New Realtor
. 15.The Fire Alarm
. 16.Eddie's Short Visit
. 17.Carbon Monoxide
. 18.A Visit to Asia
. 19.School Boys
. 20.The Loose Button
. 21.The Pile of Paper
. 22.Brushing and Flossing
. 23.Raising the Kids
. 24.A Clean Toilet Bowl
. 25.A Love Letter
. 26.A Bird Attacks
. 27.A Daytime Robbery
. 28.Trick or Treat
. 29.The Motorcycle Rider
. 30.Spock Saves His Dad
. 31.Provider Overbills Customer
. 32.The Breakup
. 33.Famous Model Dies
. 34.Shopping Carts Everywhere
. 35.Four Slit Throats
. 36.Trick or Treat
. 37.A Jealous Girlfriend
. 38.Towns Hit by Snowstorms
. 39.Another Jealous Girlfriend
. 40.She Loves Her Son
. 41.The Doctor’s Exam
. 42.Hospitals Can Make You Sick
. 43.English Is So Hard
. 44.Hollywood Stars and Tourists
. 45.GEICO’s TV Lizard
. 46.Law and Order in LA?
. 47.Destruction of Iraq
. 48.Have You Seen This Man?
. 49.LA Traffic Report
. 50.LA Radio News


. 51.Trash Truck Misses Pick-up
. 52.Her First Driving Accident
. 53.You’re Not a Good Principal
. 54.I’ve Got You Covered
. 55.Paris Goes to Jail in LA
. 56.A Year with No TV
. 57.Let’s Buy Some Paint
. 58.I Need Water for My Clients
. 59.Putting Bunny to Sleep
. 60.Where Is That Darn Battery?
. 61.If You Really Love Me…
. 62.The Wedding Gift (1)
. 63.The Wedding Gift (2)
. 64.Does a Tiger Change Its Stripes?
. 65.No Place Like an Open House
. 66."We Could Have All Died!"
. 67.It’s the Thought that Counts
. 68.Who Ordered the Scallops?
. 69.You’re Not My Daddy
. 70.Let He Who Is Without Sin…
. 71.Shopping at the 99 Cents Store
. 72.Betting Big in Vegas
. 73.Priced to Sell!
. 74.The Handyman Comes
. 75.A Woman Has Needs
. 76.A Hot Day and a Cool Pool
. 77.Up, Up, and Away
. 78.Man's Best Friend
. 79.Six Feet Under
. 80.An Unhappy Worker
. 81.Why the Sky Is Brown
. 82.It’s a Small World
. 83.Suspicious Shoppers
. 84.Death Is Part of Life
. 85.Tagger Shoots Woman
. 86.Crime on the Rise
. 87.Too Soft on Crime
. 88.Pluto Chases Kid
. 89.In Harm’s Way
. 90."Semper Buy"
. 91.A Little Respect, Please
. 92.A Dream from Beyond-1
. 93.A Dream from Beyond-2
. 94.A Trip to Egypt
. 95.No Doughnuts for Old Folks
. 96.It’s Just Business
. 97.A Walk in the Wild
. 98.Elvis Is Alive and Well
. 99.Bad Weed, Bad Call
. 100.Shark Attack


. 101.Love in the Hospital
. 102.Interstate Bridge Collapses
. 103.Stop Selling Those Bunnies
. 104.Actor Tries to Kill Himself
. 105.US Senator Says He’s not Gay
. 106.E.Coli Is Everywhere
. 107.Influenza
. 108.The Hospital Orderly-1
. 109.The Hospital Orderly-2
. 110.Flower Power
. 111.Dog Inherits Millions
. 112.Man Holds Staff Hostage
. 113.Young Boy Defends Sister
. 114.Remember Me?
. 115.The Way to a Man’s Heart
. 116.Sail Around the World
. 117.New Dog-Barking Law
. 118.Man Flies in Lawn Chair-1
. 119.Man Flies in Lawn Chair-2
. 120.Cleaning a Dirty Plate
. 121.Her Driving Lesson
. 122.Hurricane Dean
. 123.Adventurer Disappears
. 124.Nursing Student Disappears
. 125.The Lovely Banana
. 126.Smells like Chicken
. 127.The Wedding-1
. 128.The Wedding-2
. 129.The Waiter
. 130.Your Country Thanks You
. 131.D.B.Cooper Lives On-1
. 132.D.B.Cooper Lives On-2
. 133.I’m No Alcoholic!
. 134.48 Homes Burn Down-1
. 135.48 Homes Burn Down-2
. 136.Drought Attacks Georgia
. 137.A Bad MRI Experience
. 138.Body in a Barrel-1
. 139.Body in a Barrel-2
. 140.Red Meat, Gray Water
. 141.All Bite, No Bark
. 142.Tiger Kills Two Men-1
. 143.Tiger Kills Two Men-2
. 144.Red Flowers Make Her See Red
. 145.The Starbucks Robbery
. 146.The Argument-1
. 147.The Argument-2
. 148.The Toilet Tank-1
. 149.The Toilet Tank-2
. 150.Santa Was Molested




. 151.Fire Kills Two Young Girls
. 152.Police Arrest Fire-Starters
. 153.Get out of "Jail"-1
. 154.Get out of "Jail"-2
. 155.New Year Celebrations
. 156.$50K to Waitress-1
. 157.$50K to Waitress-2
. 158.Who Needs School?
. 159.Black Friday
. 160.JFK Assassination
. 161.Don’t Top Off the Tanks
. 162.The Clapper
. 163.Tuberculosis Still Kills
. 164.Old Dogs Become Young Again
. 165.Ham and Eggplant
. 166.A Hole in Her Ear-1
. 167.A Hole in Her Ear-2
. 168.The Drugs Keep Coming
. 169.Missing Husband-1
. 170.Missing Husband-2
. 171.Don’t Get Mad-Get Even
. 172.The Christmas Gift-1
. 173.The Christmas Gift-2
. 174.The Haircut-1
. 175.The Haircut-2
. 176.The Robbery at the Mall-1
. 177.The Robbery at the Mall-2
. 178.The Driving Lesson-1
. 179.The Driving Lesson-2
. 180.The Move to Georgia-1
. 181.The Move to Georgia-2
. 182.I’ll Get a Job in a Restaurant
. 183.A Cleaner River-1
. 184.A Cleaner River-2
. 185.The Spitter
. 186.Kill Those Flies-1
. 187.Kill Those Flies-2
. 188.The Oil Change-1
. 189.The Oil Change-2
. 190.Boy Starts Huge Fire
. 191.Writers Go on Strike
. 192.Please Don’t Hurt Me!
. 193.It’s Just a Little White Lie
. 194.Jury Service in California
. 195.The Rude Golfer-1
. 196.The Rude Golfer-2
. 197.Man Invents Toilet for Cars
. 198.Monkeys Cause Man’s Death
. 199.The Light Eater-1
. 200.The Light Eater-2


. 201.Sara Went Shopping
. 202.Man Injured at Fast Food Place
. 203.A Life-Saving Cow
. 204.Driver Loses Mabel, Finds Jail
. 205.Jerry Decided To Buy a Gun
. 206.Freeway Chase
. 207.Better To Be Unlucky
. 208.Food Fight Erupted in Prison
. 209.How His Pig is Doing
. 210.Goats Being Hired
. 211.A Missing Cat
. 212.Book Him
. 213.Water Under the Sink-1
. 214.Water Under the Sink-2
. 215.Theft Occurs Everywhere
. 216.Eggs and a Bunny
. 217.Goodbye to Clean Couple
. 218.$100 Deposit
. 219.Books Don’t Grow on Trees
. 220.A Murder-Suicide
. 221.New Store and Its Owners
. 222.Hit-and-Run Charge
. 223.Gasoline Prices Hit Record High
. 224.A Festival of Books
. 225.Crazy Housing Prices
. 226.Happy and Unhappy Renters
. 227.Pulling Out Nine Tons of Trash
. 228.Cloning Pets
. 229.Rentals at the Oceanside
. 230.Trees Are a Threat
. 231.Gets Booked, Writes a Book
. 232.Popular Park Reopens
. 233.Swim Classes Begin Soon
. 234.Not Sitting Around
. 235.Get Millions for Homeless
. 236.Tenants Watch Building Burn
. 237.Bathtub Blues
. 238.Blood Drive at Civic Center
. 239.City Hosts 42nd Art Fair
. 240.City and Crime
. 241.Bank Robbery
. 242.Immigration Goes Online
. 243.Jimmy Fixes His Door
. 244.Needs a New Air-Conditioner
. 245.Man Gets 12 Years for Fraud
. 246.Man Shoots Up Post Office
. 247.Murals Are Over 200 Years Old
. 248.Pier Collapses
. 249.Cameras in Police Cars
. 250.A School Girl Sues Her School


. 251.SUV Driver Sends Officer Flying
. 252.Boy Drowns in Neighbor's Pool
. 253.Woman Dies in House Fire
. 254.Plane Crashes into House
. 255.Fishing for Girls
. 256.Shot Next to Christmas Tree
. 257.Stabbed Outside Nightclub
. 258.Fishing Boat Sinks
. 259.The Mysterious Carport Stain
. 260.Lies About Winning Lottery
. 261.Victory Dance Leads to Death
. 262.Eat Your Vegetables
. 263.Honk if You're in a Hurry
. 264.The Man Who Loved Women
. 265.How to Get out of Jury Duty
. 266.The Way to a Man’s Heart
. 267.Female Seeks Mature Male
. 268.Let’s Go Fishing
. 269.Train Wreck “Frees” Cows
. 270.Valuable Guitar Found
. 271.Stepmother Kills Herself
. 272.Beautiful Teacher Smiles
. 273.Are Criminals Taking Over LA?
. 274.Police Arrest Happy Van Driver
. 275.Say Your Prayers
. 276.The Final Phone Call
. 277.Almost Perfect Children
. 278.There Goes the Neighborhood!
. 279.Let’s Go to Vegas!
. 280.Squirrel Attacks Woman
. 281.To Save His Baby
. 282.English Is Confusing
. 283.Pump Up the Tires
. 284.Don’t Go Swimming
. 285.The Park That Went to the Dogs
. 286.Can You Spare a Carburetor?
. 287.Golf Like a Girl
. 288.Take Me Out to the Ball Game
. 289.Take This Job and Shove It
. 290.Where Did That Book Go?
. 291.When You’ve Got Your Health
. 292.That ‘New Car’ Smell
. 293.Inviting Poor Student to Dinner
. 294.When I'm in the Bathroom
. 295.It Was an Old, Worthless Clock
. 296.Five-Finger Discount on Candy
. 297.Collecting Seashells
. 298.At the Store Entrance
. 299.We Will See the World
. 300.Get Me a Caffe Latte




. 301.The Slow Computer-1
. 302.The Slow Computer-2
. 303.The Careful Reader
. 304.Avoid the Flu
. 305.Magician Attracts Women
. 306.US Border Patrol
. 307.Car Shopping in California
. 308.Happy Anniversary
. 309.“Read All about It!”
. 310.A Factory Worker
. 311.Bad Pork
. 312.Don’t Eat the Meat
. 313.Copper Robbers
. 314.Weekly Driving Lessons-1
. 315.Weekly Driving Lessons-2
. 316.Laundry Day-1
. 317.Laundry Day-2
. 318.The Bargain CD Set-1
. 319.The Bargain CD Set-2
. 320.It’s All Over
. 321.The New Clothes-1
. 322.The New Clothes-2
. 323.Food as Punishment
. 324.US Passports Outsourced
. 325.The Demanding Son
. 326.A Practical Joke
. 327.The Dead Pedestrian
. 328.Bad News, Good News
. 329.The Cluster Balloonist
. 330.The Rude Clerk
. 331.The Tax Charge
. 332.The Fire in the Hills-1
. 333.The Fire in the Hills-2
. 334.The Vacuum Cleaner Filter-1
. 335.The Vacuum Cleaner Filter-2
. 336.The Rental Car-1
. 337.The Rental Car-2
. 338.The Marathon Cheater
. 339.School Bus Crashes
. 340.Don’t Take My Property
. 341.New Law for Taco Trucks
. 342.The Refund-1
. 343.The Refund-2
. 344.Shut Your Mouth
. 345.TSA’s New Policy-1
. 346.TSA’s New Policy-2
. 347.I’m Pregnant
. 348.Court Approves Same-Sex Marriage
. 349.Impolite to His Brother
. 350.Protecting the Public
. 351.Malibu to License Paparazzi
. 352.I'm Moving to NY
. 353.The Heart Attack-1
. 354.The Heart Attack-2
. 355.Let's Speak English

THE END






Update: September 26, 2012.
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Update: May 20, 2013


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